Thursday 4 July 2013

Learning

I feel like if I could chose one word for my new season it would be "learning." I have officially been a mom for 81 days, and it's difficult to remember my world before that sweet day in April.

I'm learning how to be a mom to a newborn, how to function on 5 hours or less of straight sleep coupled with daily naps, pursue a new career of a stay-at-home mom/wife, be content with not meeting expectations, and trying to figure out how to get back into my pre-pregnancy jeans.

The Lord has been gracious to us for sure. Justus is such a content baby who just goes with it. I am thankful for him. I'm still trying to learn how to put him on a schedule trusting that it will serve our family best if he's somewhat predicable :) He's learning to be more engaging which is awesome! He smiles and coos a lot, and it makes me fall even more in love with him than I already am. I'm learning to be grateful to not see the clock until the 3's- who would have thought 3:30 am could feel late!

I'm trying to learn that it's ok if I don't meet my expectations... if you know me well you know that I hate "wasted" time... in fact in college if we were going to have a movie night it wasn't unusual for me to at least try to do some homework while watching. It got so bad that my best friend Misha would tell me you pick the movie because then maybe you will actually watch it without doing anything else! I try to fit 24 hours worth of stuff into 18. Maybe at different points in my life I could kinda pull that off, but now definitely not. Who would have thought, not me! I thought newborns nap 18 hours a day so therefore I will get everything done on my list... (feel free to laugh if you have a kid, because you know the truth)- it can't all get done. At least not right now... I'm lucky to shower and wash dishes. In the beginning I felt bad for not getting more done, but I'm realizing it's ok. My priority is to take care of Justus- make sure he is fed, getting rest, and getting lots of attention when he's awake. I also need to love on my husband and serve him, and finally spend time with the Lord. Those three things are my focus, and everything else is icing on the cake! However, saying this doesn't make it any easier. I still struggle with the fact that my "to do list" is growing and not shrinking. My hope is to learn to be in the moment and grasp the things that really matter... somehow I'm not convinced that a clean sink is the top thing!

Until next time, here's what is capturing the majority of my attention.


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